So, I got to talk to Scaughdt today.

He and I had passed emails back and forth about setting up a phone call, so the anticipation was high. When I was finally able to talk to him, I was very excited. I likened it to in the bible when Elizabeth, the future mother of John the Baptist, heard Mary’s voice, the Baptist in her stomach leapt.

I don’t know why, but my heart leapt because of being able to find someone…someone who has or is experiencing…this thing. This thing that I am falling into. This trail of thoughts that seem to be leading me to a deeper understanding. This group of ideas that are festering in my mind. They are producing wrestling matches from within my brain’s cauldron evolving into questions. Someone who has not only probed these questions, but sought and found some answers that I have; answers that we didn’t like. The question of which Religion is right? Of which camp of politics is better, which opinion about abortion I should believe, what about gays, Jesus, Buddha, Mormons, Atheism, Agnosticism, business, greed, war, the death penalty, and which is better Vanilla or Chocolate.

That perhaps he, like me, has been debating the questions for what seemed millennia, had come to the same radical thoughts I have. That as person of similar questions, thoughts, answers, and feelings had come to the same conclusion, “I have to stop faking my way through it.”

I think Scaughdt is that kind of a guy.

After talking to him for nearly 3 hours. I was flabbergasted…and my brain read full. The biggest thoughts that I feel I understood him to be saying:

1.     There are only two kinds of living, living for yourself or living for others.

2.     Serving others is our real mission.

He said that he came to these conclusions through walking for the last 5 years. He said he made a list of all the things that we were told to do by the avatars of old. Be kind to others. Do not kill. Turn the other cheek. Love your enemies. Feed the poor and that you don’t have to worry for even the lilies are taken care of as are the sparrows. Have faith to move mountains, it is better to give than receive, and etc.

He, like a scientist, developed experiments to test the radical nature of some of these axioms; to see if they hold water. To go and walk out into the desert with no food or water and just trust in the universe. To give a hug to the person who is swinging a punch at you, and as they hit you, tell them “I love you.” To trust that your needs will be met. To use a mustard seed of faith to move a mountain, and to give everything freely.

The experiments of Love, were proven to be correct, powerful, and produced staggering peace and deep-rooted joy every time. It does work. That when one steps out in faith with the willingness to do it, it does really happen as the avatars of old said it would. The good intentions and actions that one holds to help others selflessly really does work.

With this knowledge he came to the conclusion that the doctrine of selfless love, selfless giving, and selfless service is the only obvious choice. Once one is awakened to this truth, there is no going back. Why would you want to? Why go back to being another self-centered asshole again, where most of us are lonely, afraid, and unhappy anyway?

However, this thinking is so radically different, that for some, it is easier to stay self-deluded; thinking that it isn’t even possible. I’ve taken the red pill. I believe it is possible. I’ve gone down the rabbit hole, and I see that there are two life mentalities. We all live in both. We both do evil, and good. We demonstrate both when we selflessly help a stranger who is lost, or when we flip the bird while driving. When we compliment another, and when we talk behind another’s back. We live in both worlds all the time, but most of us think there is only one. But, in truth there are two, one of self interest, the other of love and compassion for everyone.

Once one then has this knowledge there is only one question: “What are you going to do about it?” Live for self or others.

After we hung up and all day long I have been deciphering what I think, and what I will do. But, this is what has given me pause. I’m mentally somewhat ready to give up stuff that I don’t particularly like. I’m OK with giving up a little eating…a little. I’m OK with giving up a year, no bed, running water, warmth, showers, and all. I’m OK with running and training, I’m even to a point OK with giving up most of possessions. But, I came to understand I have to be willing to give up everything. Even the things I like. Not that I will be asked to, but I need to be really ready to give up everything if asked. Could I give up music, my hearing, sight, touch, art, or life if asked? Many parents already have the answer to this question. If it were their child or them…easy choice. But, could any of us make that same sacrifice for a stranger. Can we love our neighbor as much as we love our child or ourselves?

As I ran this morning these are the thoughts that I wrestled with. I compared all my thoughts. I identified all those that were self-interested, and all those that were of helping, praying for, being kind to, or loving my neighbor. I found myself loving those I ran by—genuinely.

The last thing he shared with me is how he has been seeing more and more of us “Peace Walker” types popping up; almost as if it were a catalytic reaction. He called those of us who are waking up—Beacons. People who feel called to do for others and using their life examples and humanness as indicators of what is possible.

One thing that remains, will I continue to be in the way, or will I finally be IN THE WAY?